Thursday, March 4, 2010

Guest Write - Jeffrey S. Callico

The Burning

His hands were on fire, they were burning hot. He shook them but couldn’t get them to stop burning. The flames shot from his hands and he felt the heat on his face. He had to turn his head to keep the heat from burning his face.

There were no flames; his hands were burning but they weren’t flaming, they were just burning hot and he couldn’t get them to stop their horrible burning.

He tried everything. Water. Cold air. Ice. A woman’s cold hands. He tried thinking of extreme cold, tried to get his hands to stop burning. Nothing worked. He couldn’t get them to stop. He was burning up fast.

Night came and the burning continued. The burning lasted until morning but didn’t stop. He got no sleep, no rest, no release from the awful burning. His hands were aflame but from flames he couldn’t see.

No one could see them, but he knew they were there. The invisible flames were destroying his hands. They were destroying him. He couldn’t get any of it to stop.

Days passed, the nights, he got no sleep, got no relief from the burning of his scorched hands. His hands were red with unseen fire. He left the house, he entered a crowded building, he clamped his hands onto the faces of everyone, he screamed for mercy, he pleaded for someone to do something about his fiery hands. He stood in the middle of the crowd then fell to his knees with his raised hands burning in the air.

No one could do anything but watch him burn.

Jeffrey S. Callico aka Wiredwriter writes using a different writing style that is yet to be duplicated. You can visit his eZine, Negative Suck, or his blog to view more of his writing.

17 comments:

  1. An interesting story, Jeffrey. Were the burning hands a punishment for unforgivable sins? Were the burning hands only the beginning of what would eventually be the burning man?

    Sal Buttaci

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  2. This is scary. Just thinking about this makes me tremble.

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  3. And what have you done with those hands?

    Imaginative and hot write-your voice always has natural suspense.

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  4. I love the narrative tone here - you keep the tone 'cool' despite the subject. what an image and idea. really great stuff!!

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  5. Damn, stort sentences, as needed. And the ending is killer.

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  6. jeff you have such a unique style that cuts to the core of the matter, another fine mess.

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  7. Thanks so much for all the comments! I am glad this went over well. So far, at least... :)

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  8. I dig the smoothly curt style, and the repetition of particular words never feels cheap, but deftly reinforces the whole idea that what's happening to this guy must completely suck.

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  9. Poor that guy.

    I love the last line.

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  10. Interesting that no one even tried to help him when he stood in the middle of the crowd.

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  11. Well done Jeff, the concept of burning hands reflects the possible burning with in the soul too, perhape for a past sin , the enormity of which is now about to consume him too. Great story line - excellent .

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  12. Damn fine tale, told in a way that hooks the reader and doesn't let go...even after the story is done.

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  13. lifeisbeautiful03March 7, 2010 at 3:47 AM

    that was interesting.....well i don't know if there is anything more worst then being miserable..when you know something is wrong or something bad is happening but you cant stop it... one often gets a feeling of being useless and finally frustration comes over ...its very bad to suffer the incurable..nice imagination...

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  14. Like Salvatore Buttaci I also imagined the burning hands as a physical expression of some kind of internal conflict, perhaps guilt -- a new twist on the blood that can't be washed off the hands.
    I enjoy the prose, short, concise sentences (something I have issues with apparently). It really adds to the suspense and the intensity of the burning. Nicely written.

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  15. cool ... er ... I mean hot story, Jeff. I've always admired your writing, and this story reinforces that admiration.

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  16. what a great analogy to everyone's personal demons...truly, none of us can do anything but watch them burn.

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