Saturday, July 17, 2010

FFF# 36 Shopping with Women

In the distance I saw all kinds of birds circling over something, but I couldn’t tell what from where I was. I was getting pissed off! The closer I tried to get the further it seemed to be.”

Looking at it from your point of view, then yeah, I would be pissed also.”

You know that feeling when you wake up sweating and think ‘thank goodness it was only a dream’?

“Yeah, who doesn’t?”

“Well, finally I managed to make it over to what the birds were circling, and it scared me so bad that it woke me up.”

“So what the hell was it?”

“It was my mother-in-law.”

“Did you tell your wife?”

“Hell no, she already knows I can’t stand the woman, and if this comes out, then there’ll be no more sex for a month.”

“Damn, she’s got you whipped!”

“Shut up you fucker. And what about you, Mr. Purse holder?”

“Hey, at least she buys purses that aren’t way girlie like your wife, I could at least get off saying that this one’s a murse.”

“A what?”

“A murse.”

“And what the hell is a murse Larry?”

“You know, a man purse.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard all day.”

“Shhh, here they come.”

***

“Oh hey honey, did you and Shelly find what you were looking for?”

“Yeah, take look at the new purse I helped Shelly pick out!”

“That’s a cute one for sure, isn’t Larry?”

“Sure is.”

“Let’s go look at shoes Maggie.”

“I saw some great ones a few shops back, here you boys can hold these bags for us."

“Okay hun.”

***

“Looks like no more Murses for you, purse boy.”

“Fuck you.”

9 comments:

  1. Poor babies. But I can relate, I've been held captive in a hunting/fishing type store for hours. Great piece.

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  2. ;-) Short 'n' soooooo sweet, Nicole!

    Men just don't seem to understand their function in life, do they? ;-p

    Thankyou for a very enjoyable coffee-break 'read'.

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  3. Ha!! Now I want a "murse"...a pretty purple one.
    Ummm, did I say that out loud? Damnit!

    A fun read, Nicole...talk about being put in his place.

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  4. Clever use of the three sentences. But I object to the term "murse" I prefer to call mine a "man-bag". A "murse" in a male nurse.

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  5. Or as they say in that lite (sic) beer ad, "a carry-all." I wish I could comment on this, but it just revives bad nightmares. The worst of it is that most places have nowhere for men to sit.

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  6. Very nicely done, Nicole. I'm sure you gave a lot of your male readers flashbacks.

    Cormac - what we need are waiting areas. Sort of like a coat check for the husband\boyfriend. Preferably with TVs and beer.

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  7. Chicks.

    Am I the only guy with a wallet and nothing else? Bunch of east coast elitist metrosexuals.

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  8. You hit the trifecta: I think I've had the dream of the mother in law, the terror of being denied, and the boredom of having to wait on the girls to go shopping. Way to make me laugh :)

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