Do you ever wonder sometimes, what would have happened if? I do.
I've met a wide variety of people, either through my work, or writing, or just out being myself. But I hold a fond connection to only a handful of people in my life. I wonder, if around this time next year, I'll pass through Denver, driving to a convention I wouldn't miss for the life of me, but have twice in a row. I'm sure I'll be thinking about friends, from all over, one from Detroit, one from Chiapas, one from Texas, and only a few others. I wonder, sometimes, how things would have been had I not missed those conventions, and if maybe I missed my chance to a taste of euphoria found nowhere else. I think I have, but I think I might not have at the same time.
Its confusing, this questioning what if, what would have, and what could be. While my mind wanders in circles, I ponder posts from friends, wondering where my muse has run off to this time, if he's just taken a sabbatical or a permanent vacation. Left in doubt, I try to put pen to paper hoping to ease a little lingering pain, and make sense of circles.
Tears long gone, but surrounded by reminders, photos of those few I hold dear, and even fewer I trust, at least one circle makes sense.
If the world where only black and white, I think I'd still be grey.